


The Mess We Live In

by chat_rouge



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Pre-Season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 05:37:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21192458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chat_rouge/pseuds/chat_rouge
Summary: Everything was a mess.The situation at the DEO, her relationship with Lena, her relationship Alex, the current political climate.But especially Lena was a mess. So was Lena’s entire apartment, but she was more focused on Lena who was the drunkest she’d ever been and cursed Alex for the third time since she came back to the apartment for not being more specific.





	The Mess We Live In

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this the night before the season premiered, this is how my anxiety took form and I just never got around to posting it. I haven't had a chance to watch the new season either.

Everything was a mess.

The situation at the DEO, her relationship with Lena, her relationship Alex, the current political climate.

But especially Lena was a mess. So was Lena’s entire apartment, but she was more focused on Lena who was the drunkest she’d ever been and cursed Alex for the third time since she came back to the apartment for not being more specific.

_ Ok, but don’t forget she needs lots of fluids, have her brush or at least mouthwash before bed, and make sure she has aspirin. _

If Alex knew Lena was going to get drunk instead of showering when she sent Kara to fly her home, then why have Kara fly her home at all?

Wouldn’t it have been better to keep an eye on Lena at the DEO?

Lena swayed in her arms finally attempting to undress herself for the bath. It took coaxing, and a lot of convincing on Kara’s part that no,  _ she wasn’t going to get in the bath with her, no I’m not trying to see you naked, Lena, I’m not propositioning you, so please, please work with me. _

Even as she thought it, she knew it would’ve been worse.

She could’ve been in the shutdown, semi-panicked state that was trying to put Kara back together again.

The one where she was telling Kara in a clipped, neutral, tone, as she was pressing Kara’s side to stop the blood flow, telling her to shut up, just shut up.

Even though Kara wasn’t talking. Even though it was just the two of them because Lena responded first since everyone else was checking the humans for injuries.

Because Lena screwed up in her calculations and the test went horribly wrong and became one of the few times Kara got injured without any kryptonite or solar flare involved. 

Things became hectic, it turned into a danger zone, Kara got everyone out, but no one expected her to get injured. But she was fine, about thirty minutes under the sun lamp it turned from a possible fatal to a surgery needed injury. Except Lena was pacing, wrecking things, and yelling at people who were both involved and not involved, and even though Kara was injured Alex said to fly her home.

She should've known Lena wouldn’t take a shower and go to bed like Kara asked when she dropped her off on balcony. She should’ve known when Lena’s first reaction after some struggle when she was picked up to quietly acquiesce and nod after Supergirl gave instructions.

In her defense she was in a boat load of pain. Like a ship ton. Like she had a literal actual hole in her side.

She knew she was a crappy friend. She knew she was supposed to be doing better even though Lena wasn’t speaking to her outside of DEO business.

But it was better than the first two weeks of complete silence where Kara was too scared to check on her. And she promised Lena all those years ago that she would always be there for her.

Lena now in her naked glory was leaning on Kara as she stepped into the tub. It was filled with bubbles, the brand that drunk Lena forced her find with her x-ray vision because it was her favorite.

She loved Lena, and they were once best friends who shared almost everything.

Keyword almost. She could have lived without the knowledge that Lena kept four brands of condoms in her vanity drawer, under which were the pregnancy tests.

It gave her images of Lena with James that she didn’t need. 

Also she couldn’t process the - um- self-care toys, that Lena kept in her bathroom.

Although she did file away the raunchy romance novel for future information. She also promised herself never to use x-ray vision in Lena’s house again.

Once Lena was finally in the tub she gave Lena some privacy and went to fetch the Gatorade she bought along with the water.

Coming back in she realized that Lena was just sitting there, half hidden by the bubbles staring into the wall.

“Here drink this,” she opened the bottle and gave to Lena breaking her out of her daze. Lena looked at it as though it had told her she was her brother.

“From there, I think not, I have more class than that” she waved Kara away as though she was a servant to be dismissed sending bubbles everywhere.

Kara sighed, “If I pour it into a wine glass will you drink it?”

Lena paused for a moment then shrugged. Kara sped out, found a glass from where she knew they were kept and came back handing her a glass of red Gatorade as though it was wine. Lena proceeded to drink and made no motion to get clean.

That was okay, Kara rolled up her sleeves, grabbed a loofa and pulled one of Lena’s legs out.

In response Lena brought her legs out of the tub and spread them. Her head was tilted up, as though she was a queen looking down on dirt, “Is this what you wanted,” she sneered, “For me to spread me legs,” she tilted her head as she stared at Kara, “I see the way you look at me, where your stares linger.”

Kara’s breathe caught in her throat and she looked up, Lena was staring at her. An angry smirk sat on her lips and her hands were traveling down her body.

For a moment Kara could only process the pain and hurt, her mouth fell open, she could only stare while Lena seemed to thrive off her shock.

Lena continued to mock her, “Maybe I should’ve tried to Fuck you,” then she spat, “It worked for James.”

Then Kara snapped out of, squeezing the loofa a little too hard, and remembered the way Lena lashed out when she was hurt and guilty. She remembered Lena’s insecurities and suddenly felt the need to take her into a bone crushing hug and whisper a million apologies in her ear.

To explain that she loved Lena in all forms. That she was sorry. That she knew she messed up and never wanted Lena to hurt. That if she could take it all back she would. That if she could take every bit of pain, every bit of hurt, she would take it all gladly.

Instead she grabbed the soap and lathered Lena’s legs with it.

“You’re a liar, you lied to me, you made a fool of me, you hurt me even though,” she pulled her legs back when Kara grabbed the loofa, “No, no, I like the other one more,” Kara grabbed the red loofa instead and Lena’s head fell back as she continued to rant, “You hurt me even though you promised to protect me.”

There was a lot of dirt and grime, some of it was residue from the explosion, some of it was when Lena was trying to stop her from bleeding out and was kneeling on the ground.

All the blood was from Kara.

At least Lena’s legs were clean. She maneuvered Lena to sit up higher so she could wash her stomach, back, and chest.

Lena just continued to rant waving her glass of Gatorade that she had picked up again.

“You betrayed me, like everyone else in my family. Just stabbed me in the back, at least they had the decency to tell me what they wanted,” Lena hissed while being entirely pliant in Kara’s hands. She let Kara push her forward so she could better reach her back.

“I trusted you, so why,” Kara started to shampoo her hair. She wasn’t quite sure how the blood got all over Lena’s hair, but she assumed that Lena must have pulled at it when left alone.

“Are you using the Lavender shampoo?” Lena suddenly asked sitting up.

Kara reached for the extremely expensive looking bottle she had set on the counter without leaving her position. It smelled mostly of Lavender but she spun it around to double check the label, “Yes, is that ok?”

“Mmhmm,” Lena leaned back into her hands as Kara massaged her scalp. Carefully, gently, she also let her nails run down Lena’s scalp and Lena groaned.

“I’m going to dunk you to wash out the shampoo, then we’ll condition and get you out,” Kara told her.

Lena just nodded, so Kara carefully pushed her under water so her entire her was there and pulled her out before just pouring water over her head to get the last of it. The rest of the process went quietly and after she finished massaging in the conditioner she pulled the plug on the bath and grabbed the showerhead.

Never has she appreciated Lena’s lover for the finer things in life until now. Thank Rao for her extra large and expensive tub.

Once the water went down a little she washed Lena’s head out with the shower head, before coaxing her up and rinsing her off.

Any other day she would be blushing and losing her mind over Lena’s state. But at the moment Lena was so drunk and vulnerable and Kara was so tired and in so much pain she was only focused on making this as painless as possible for both of them.

Finally when she deemed Lena clean enough she pulled her out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel.

“Where do you keep your pajamas?” She asked not wanting to go through her drawers.

Lena was swaying, “Don’t use any.”

That wasn’t strictly true, as they used to have movie nights and sleep overs and she would have most certainly noticed if Lena was nude during those. But she wasn’t going to argue with a drunk.

“Can you brush your teeth for me and I’ll be right back,” Lena grabbed a toothbrush holding on to her sink for support.

Kara flew home as quickly as possible without causing damage to windows, before grabbing the first clean pair of jammies she could find, her rocket ship pants and CatCo t-shirt.

Flying back she popped into the bathroom where Lena was spitting out toothpaste. She held the pajamas up and Lena raised her arms letting her towel drop.

Oh boy.

She used superspeed to get Lena into them, there was no need to prolong this torture, before carrying her to bed. 

“Hate it when you do that,” Lena mumbled, nuzzling into her pillow as Kara tucked her in.

She brushed Lena’s hair out of her face and indulged herself in a single kiss on her forehead, “Sorry,” she replied not sorry at all.

Lena only gave her a light snore and a small smile broke out on Kara’s face.

Just a second, just a moment, a snapshot in time, Kara lingered.

Leaning over her with her hair draped around them closing them off from the rest of the world. Lena looked content and relaxed.

The second passed and she righted herself to deal with the mess called reality.

She went to survey the damages Lena had done to her apartment. It wasn’t pretty. 

Three separate wine glasses shattered on the floor, probably from when Lena went to reach for one and knocked a row over. A broken bottle of red seeping into the rug, a bottle Lena probably drank from directly after giving up on the glasses. Blood stains drying on the coach, the rug, the wooden coffee table, all over the kitchen, almost anywhere Lena touched. Also a particularly large stain on the balcony, although that probably came from Kara directly.

She knew there was blood stained clothes in the bathroom as well as a wet floor probably covered in bubble bath.

Time to clean it all up.

By the time three in the morning rolled by the bathroom was sparkling, she had brought both Lena’s and her own clothing to get dry cleaning, and was working on sweeping up the rest of the glass. 

That was when she heard Lena wake up, dart into the bathroom, and start heaving into the toilet. She spent the next twenty minutes holding Lena’s hair and saying it’s ok for every I’m sorry Lena cried. Then she helped Lena clean herself up, provided the mouthwash, found another bottle of Gatorade and some water, and left Lena to brush her teeth before tucking her back into bed and cleaning the bathroom again. 

When the sun rose enough for there to be sunlight on the balcony Kara went and took a power nap. While as a Kryptonian her need to sleep was far more subdued than a humans, it was still there and she had both a physically exhausting and emotionally exhausting day.

Waking up she had the terrible realization she saw Lena’s boobs.

And she couldn’t even remember what they looked like because she was too emotionally drained and worried about Lena too care.

In fact she saw Lena entirely naked.

Not that it should matter because Lena was her friend who she was working to regain her trust with.

Groaning, she decided to double check if all the blood was scrubbed out of the rug and make sure that there were no errant pieces of glass. After scrubbing the rug down a second time, she went to go get Lena groceries. 

She was tired. She was exhausted. Her side ached. There was a buzzing in her brain.

Her power nap turned out longer than expected and it was nearing eight in the morning. She needed to make sure Lena’s fridge was stocked and leave before Lena woke up.

After stocking Lena’s fridge she decided to pick up the laundry she dropped off earlier. 

Leaving the laundry bag on the couch she listened to Lena snore as she took in the clean apartment. 

She was so tired.

It was time to go.

She felt like crying.

There was time to prepare breakfast.

That’s how Lena found her, working through her kitchen. For the first time when Kara cooked everything was clean, none of the bowls were overflowing. All the utensils and ingredients were properly lined up and there wasn't so much of a spec of flour on the Italian marble counters.

Kara herself wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants stained with Lysol, bleach, and blood. Mindlessly flipping pancakes with her hair up in a messy bun.

“Kara,” Lena whispered

Kara continued to work around the kitchen.

Lena walked further in and tried again a little louder leaning on the couch, “Kara.”

There was no response, no motions that Kara even noticed she was there.

Finally she walked up and placed her hand on her bicep, “Please stop Kara,” she said in a resigned tone.

Kara froze. She held the empty pan in one hand and a spatula in the other while she looked off to the side. Not at Lena, not at the pancakes, just away. 

Completely unmoving.

Lena bit her bottom lip and pulled her toward the couch, for a second it was like tugging a statue, then Lena thanked God and Rao that Kara put down everything she was holding and let herself be pulled along.

“Let’s head over to the couch,” Kara was still not looking at her but Lena was determined, “We need to speak.”

When they got to the couch Lena sat down and intended to pull Kara down with her, but Kara refused to move and stood there with her arms crossed, looking down, hair blocking her view of the world.

Then Lena tugged at her shirt and checked Kara’s side.

Kara heard her heart rate speed up and felt her fingers touch the wound. It was mostly a scar and Kara could feel some pain but she was feeling much better after her nap in the sunlight.

Lena pulled her hands away and let the shirt fall before she sighed.

“Have you been to the DEO since putting me to bed?” she asked

Kara’s head shot up, “Do you want me to leave, I’m sorry, I knew I should’ve left before you woke, I'll go,” she stammered. She should’ve left earlier. Lena obviously didn’t want her here. They weren’t on good terms anymore, and Lena probably thought Kara was trying to take advantage of her especially since…

_ I see the way you look at me, where your stares linger. _

Her voice sounded broken and Lena…

“Darling, no, I,” Lena looked so worried. Kara took a step back.

They weren’t in a good place.

Lena reached for her.

And Lena’s house was clean and fixed, and Kara tucked her in last night and she washed her and most definitely overstepped her bounds.

Every line Lena had laid down since their argument.

“No I’m not telling you to go,” she said pulling Kara into a hug and Kara fell into her arms, “I, just," Lena took a breathe, "maybe we should take this conversation outside, onto the balcony, or at least near the window.”

Kara nodded against her neck. Afraid to disagree.

Although when Lena tried to stand Kara kept her pressed firmly against the couch.

So instead Lena adjusted her position so she was laying down, her head on the arm rest, so Kara could cuddle down with her.

Suddenly Kara tensed, realizing that she trapped Lena, and maybe Lena was trying to escape the situation and maybe Lena actually wanted her gone and maybe…

But Lena’s body was relaxed, even pulling her closer, there were no signs of distress, her heart rate slow and steady.

Maybe Lena missed this as much as Kara did.

Lena tightened her arms around Kara, “Want to watch some netflix?”

Kara didn’t do anything, just inspected Lena’s profile. So Lena turned herself and saw Kara staring up at her from where she was resting on her shoulder looking at her with big blue watery eyes.

Lena brought her hand to the corner of Kara’s face and wiped at the tears building in her eyes with her thumb then wiggled herself down to Kara’s level.

“I would really like it if you held me for a little while, then while I go eat breakfast and text Alex and change, you sunbathe either inside or outside, and afterwards we’ll watch some netflix and order out and have a sleepover. Then next week you’ll come bring me lunch like always, or we’ll go out to test restaurants. When I’m at the DEO you’re going to show off all your powers to me, your intellect too. We’ll have movie nights on Friday so we don’t interfere with sister night or game night. When you’re out protecting the city or the world you’ll text me so I know you’re safe and I’ll buy you food afterwards,” she paused cradling Kara’s face and smoothing the crinkle between Kara’s eyes, “Does that sound ok.”

Kara pulled her into a tight hug and let out a sob. Lena rubbed her back and relaxed into her arms.

For the next hour Kara just held Lena, happy to have her in her arms, to feel her heartbeat instead of listen from a distance, to once again lay side by side.

And when they finally untangled, Kara knew that things would be alright.

Things were a mess, but they took care of each other.

Always.

**Author's Note:**

> Conversations are important, but sometime you don't need to talk, some things are better left unsaid and better spread throughout time. I often thought about how they would talk this out, and then I realized I don't think realistically this situation would be worked out that way. I think at first Lena would yell, Kara would say her piece, maybe more yelling or hushed angry tones, and then it's about actions, and the little talks that come throughout the rebuilt relationship instead of one big conversation. I guess this came from the idea that you can be furious and love someone at the same time, you can have no contact with and still be intimately acquainted with a person. You can talk about something without talking about it. You can have the loudest conversations in silence.


End file.
